My previous blog post is about some mistakes people do that make them look desperate. Today, as I received an email regarding that post, let's take a deeper look at it. Some reasons that a person act desperately is because they feel insecure at some point.
There are five different types of insecure people: (1) Those who tackle their insecurities with humor, (2) those who pretend they have no insecurities, (3) those who verbally (and constantly) doubt themselves and put themselves down, (4) those who make up all sorts of fabulous stories and tales about themselves that aren’t true, and (5) those who act out of insecurity to try and cover up.
But before we continue, it should be noted that we all have insecurities. We all have areas in our lives in which we aren’t 100% confident. We are all insecure people to some extent. There is nothing wrong with that as it is an important part of the human experience and should be one way to improve ourselves for the better. However, being insecure to the point that you belittle others and intentionally point fingers is not a healthy trait.
I, too, have insecurities. Take, for example, I get insecure with people that can express themselves in English fluently. But I did not let my insecurity to hinder my dreams and happiness. Instead, I started blogging so that I could practice my English skills. As time goes by, I applied as an online English tutor to help others learn English and for me to practice and learn continiously. Another is when I feel insecure about joining national pageantry. Maybe I'm really not meant for that but that doesn't mean I cannot do anything at all so, I changed route and decided to start writing.
That's how we should take down our insecurities, start from within so we could make ourselves better but if we really can't do anything about it, then let's just accept our flaws so no one can use it against us. We may be insecure about physical attributes, about how a person is doing in their life, family and relationship matters, etc. Without further ado, let's take a look at some signs that a person is acting out of insecurity:
That's how we should take down our insecurities, start from within so we could make ourselves better but if we really can't do anything about it, then let's just accept our flaws so no one can use it against us. We may be insecure about physical attributes, about how a person is doing in their life, family and relationship matters, etc. Without further ado, let's take a look at some signs that a person is acting out of insecurity:
1. Always being defensive. They take everything as a criticism and jumps straight to being defensive as their default mode. They read far too much into innocent statements and will accuse you of intending things which were never meant.
2. They get jealous easily. Jealousy is a result of insecurity ― you may get jealous about a specific person, your life, your whole being, etc. A little bit of jealousy is nothing to worry about and is just a protective instinct. But highly emotional irrational jealousy is something to be concerned about.
2. They get jealous easily. Jealousy is a result of insecurity ― you may get jealous about a specific person, your life, your whole being, etc. A little bit of jealousy is nothing to worry about and is just a protective instinct. But highly emotional irrational jealousy is something to be concerned about.
3. They belittle you and others. Bullying and belittling are part of the arsenal of an insecure person. To make themselves feel better they try and make others feel small.
4. They hold a grudge. They love keeping score and will hold a grudge forever. They can't forgive because that means admitting their weakness or maybe they don't know what it means to love unconditionally.
5. They overreact. Again it is to elevate themselves and denigrate you. They think that by humiliating others, they improve their position.
6. Every problem is someone else's fault. They are not capable of self reflection. Because that would mean acknowledging their limitations and weaknesses. Subconsciously they know they also have flaws but refuses to acknowledge these. Instead they masks them and denies their existence. They struggle to make real progress in life because they can never take responsibility and never learns from their mistakes.
7. They think they are faultless. They can't take constructive criticism and refuses to examine their own shortcomings. This makes it impossible to have any productive and honest discussion with them.
5. They overreact. Again it is to elevate themselves and denigrate you. They think that by humiliating others, they improve their position.
6. Every problem is someone else's fault. They are not capable of self reflection. Because that would mean acknowledging their limitations and weaknesses. Subconsciously they know they also have flaws but refuses to acknowledge these. Instead they masks them and denies their existence. They struggle to make real progress in life because they can never take responsibility and never learns from their mistakes.
7. They think they are faultless. They can't take constructive criticism and refuses to examine their own shortcomings. This makes it impossible to have any productive and honest discussion with them.
8. They often brag. Someone who is insecure about how much they have accomplished in their lives, careers, relationships, or in their goals, will brag about everything they have done or accomplished ― constantly. This is not to be confused with confidence. Confidence is when you refuse to belittle your own accomplishments to make others feel better. Bragging is when you want others to feel worse about their own so you hype up yours.
9. They will refuse to see the positive in those that intimidate them most. Both light and darkness exist in us all ― positive and negative ― strength and weakness. Someone who is intimidated by another’s greatness, light, or achievement, though, will work seemingly endlessly to bring that other person down. They will ceaselessly search for and point out to others the negatives and the weaknesses within those who make them feel most unconfident, and they will not, under any circumstances ever acknowledge the goodness that also exists.
10. They will enjoy the struggles of others. When a person has become obsessed with the success and accomplishments of someone else, and has acted out of insecurity toward that person, they will be greatly satisfied any time the other experiences disappointments. People who are actively striving to overcome their own stumbles and mistakes will never be obsessed with yours or anyone else’s.
11. They will eternally pin you into the mistakes of your past. They search for any moment in time where you were less than perfect or where you made a mistake, and they will attempt to make everyone label you by that mistake forever more. People whose past mistakes don’t haunt them and define them have no reason to hold onto your past mistakes.
12. They will always have to have the last word. Some insecure people love to engage others as a way of feeling validated, intelligent, and authoritative. They will not concede any point, no matter how silly their argument is, and they will not ever agree to disagree. They always have to have the last word, or else they feel inferior and insignificant.
Let's keep in mind that no one is perfect and we all have insecurities. But don't let that insecurity make you do desperate things or belittle others. Remember that your competition is with yourself and not with other people.
************************
Remember to Dream, Sparkle, and Shine!
Remember to Dream, Sparkle, and Shine!
