We should listen to understand, not to respond. Each of us needs someone who is not just hearing the words we say but who is actually listening to it. It's better to understand and not just conclude and judge. It makes us feel better when we know someone is willing to understand us fully.
Everyday we see incidents happening around us. One of us saw a boy helping an old man to carry a heavy basket. One of us saw a girl shouting at her mother. As we speak less, we hear more. We had seen and heard about what happened to people. Some became better and some became worse.
Let's become wiser while we practice to talk less and listen more:
1. When people talk, listen completely
We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen more than we say. Being quiet doesn't mean you are already listening, knowing that you are understanding the other person's feelings is what makes you a good listener. Don't just listen to what he/she's saying, listen to the tone of his/her voice.
2. Read between the lines
"...The art of reading between the lines is a life long quest of the wise.” - Shannon L. Alder
Understand the speaker's gesture and body language. The person may be sharing good memories yet it's breaking their heart. Sometimes, we like to hide our emotions. Being sensitive and knowing how to read between the lines will be our guide.
3. Compose yourself
“Defensiveness is usually someone silently screaming that they need you to value and respect them in disguise..." - Shannon L. Alder
Some people hate defensiveness and take it as a negative one. We all have that defensiveness in ourselves yet when other people is being defensive, we get easily upset and disappointed. Let's be patient with one another and delay judgments.
4. Understand, don't assume
...Don't "fake" interest, "take" interest. - Don Carmont
No one loves talking without being listened to. Whatever the situation is, force yourself to take interest on the topic so you could be a good listener. Understanding the situation gives you the power to share effective suggestions.
5. Don't be bias
Your opinions could be a great help for others, nevertheless, you shouldn't give advises if you know that you are being biased. If you are not 100% sure about the situation, giving fair advises is enough.
